January 05, 2014

INTO THE WILD (and me)


As I just finished watching Into the Wild I can only agree with Eddie Veder (who is the composer of the entire WONDERFUL soundtrack of the film) when he talks about writing the songs for this movie, he stated: 
"It was startling how easy it was for me to get into his head. I found it to be uncomfortable how easy it was, because I thought I'd grown up."

Well... probably I´ve grown up too... not too sure if that´s the case... I think this year is a different year for me. I started 2013 very naively, without knowing how my life was going to change. I year full of dreams come true, a year full of love, friends and surprises. A year of CHANGE and a year that ended with me knowing for the first time in my life I don´t care much for many things I used to care for before. After my 2nd divorce (that happened just recently) I´ve been wondering about the true meaning of LOVE. I haven´t come to any specific explanation for it. (if I do I´ll let you all know about it). I still don´t know what´s the real meaning of many things. I don´t understand how is to be friends with your parents.... or how is it to try to understand them. I still don´t understand the desire for having a baby (have truly had it briefly once in my life) and I´m fine with not feeling like that, I don´t understand the meaning of the way we relate with each other as human beings in general and I don´t understand why as many of us have so much some of us can have so little and that no one gives a shit about it (among other things I still don´t understand). 

I smile a lot because I like the way it feels, I hug everybody (YOU ALL KNOW THAT) because I like to feel close to everyone who crosses my path. I eat with my hands because I like to lick my fingers and I don´t brush my hair very often anymore because I don´t care. I say bad words in Spanish and I don´t know yet if being right is what I want to be... I guess I don´t care I just want to be happy.

Tomorrow I´m kinda starting this new Year... full of FREEDOM, LOVE AND STRENGTH. I don´t know much of what´s out there for me but I´m sure I´ll keep smiling and hugging everyone. I still believe in LOVE and I´m sure I´ve seen it. My sister is fearing my 3rd marriage cause she doesn´t like to put on high heels and frankly me neither, I don´t believe I will get marry again (I just like going to weddings to dance and eat and drink for free) but to be honest mine doesn´t excite me much (I didn´t have one in any of the previous occasions) I just believe LOVE is there and it will find me. I am surrounded by LOTS OF LOVE anyways so this doesn´t worry me much.

From my little kingdom and with my empty pockets I´m today as happy as i´ve ever been and this movie just made me feel like I´m not so alone in feeling like flying away to keep my quest for what is really important in life. I´ve decided I don´t want to have a bigger kingdom. This one is enough for me. As for my dreams... those will keep getting bigger, those I´ll make sure that come true.


WHAT AN INSPIRING MOVIE! (I also want a magic bus)



Hannah said...

Very interesting musings. I enjoyed the read. Those things you 'can't understand' are very deep things and I don't think I could describe them even if I did understand them.

I hope that your happiness continues to grow and that you will feel surrounded by love from all you know.

Cara Carmina said...

Hannah: Thank you for reading! and I agree... some things are difficult to describe, even if understood... I´ve seen those... (some of them) I wish you too all the happiness and your life to be full of love always! :D

Anonymous said...

Dear Carmina, I love your kind over energy in all and I think that's what's it all about, relating with other people in good energy, and when it doesn't feel right anymore (I have seen abuse around in relationships, but that is really bad, I mean the 'loving'-energy) than it takes a lot of courage to stand and walk your own path. LEt 2014 begin for YOU!
And I saw most part of 'INto the wild', it was late at night and I fell asleep at the end.....

Cara Carmina said...

Schone Vrouw
THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMMENT, I believe in the kindness inside of all of us and I try to live my life with that in mind everyday! WISHING YOU lots of smiles in 2014 too! :D (you gotta see the end!!!)